Showing the Symptoms
by TVObssessedGirl28
Summary: This story was requested by Penelope hanna. Prompt: Cal is involved in the car crash. But, what made him crash in the first place? Is he showing early signs of Huntington's?
1. Car Crash

_**Note: This story was requested by**_ _ **Penelope hanna. Prompt: Cal is involved in the car crash. But, what made him crash in the first place.**_

His mind was in a mess. Not only had he found his birth mum but, he had also found out some devastating news. His birth mum had Huntington's and there was a likely chance he or his brother could have inherited the gene. Cal couldn't deal with the recent news, so he did what he normally did when things got tough. He went to the nearest pub and got drunk. The drink would clear his mind. He wouldn't have to deal with it. After drowning away his problems, Cal got in his car and sped off. He wasn't paying attention when he felt the car get rammed from the side. The car skidded and Cal tried to keep the car straight. IT was no use. The car slammed into the barrier. Cal was knocked unconscious and everything went black. Sirens were heard in the distance as police cars and ambulances pulled up. Dixie and Iain jumped out of the ambulance and ran towards the wreckage. Running both paramedics suddenly froze to the spot. They recognised the car.

"Dix, it's Cal. It's Cal!" Iain shouted as he ran over.

"How's he doing?" Dixie asked as she came up behind him.

"He doesn't look good. We need to get him out ASAP."

"Right, get a collar on and put a line in. I'll radio it through."

While Dixie ran off, Iain made sure Cal was stable. This was the one thing he hated about his job. It was seeing someone he knew hurt and he knew he had to remain professional if he wanted to save him.

Noel was busy behind reception when the phone rang.

"Holby ED."

"Noel, it's Dixie. We've got a RTC."

There was silence.

"Dixie?"

"I'm afraid it's Cal."

Noel nearly dropped the phone. But, he didn't.

"ETA?"

"5 minutes."

Zoe walked up and noticed Noel's pale complexion.

"Noel, everything okay?"

"Uh, that was Dixie on the phone. There's been a RTC and um, they're bringing Cal in."

Zoe was shocked but, she remained her composure.

"Noel, if you see Ethan, don't tell him anything. Not yet. Not until we know how serious his injuries are."

Noel nodded as Zoe left to inform the others.

"Robyn, Lily and Rita I need you with me in RESUS. We've have an incoming RTC. ETA 5 minutes. And I should warn you it's Cal."

"What?" Rita asked. "Does Ethan know?"

Zoe shook her head.

"He won't know until we know how serious his injuries are."


	2. Turning Tables

"Cal?" Ethan said as he saw Dixie and Iain pushing his older brother on a trolley.

Dixie and Iain gave each other a nervous glance before explaining to Ethan what had happened.

"Okay, Cal was involved in RTC. KOd at the scene. Has a suspected neck fracture so we've put on a collar to stablise him. He's has a suspected head wound. He's had a line in, 1L of saline and 5 mg of morphine." Iain announced.

Bursting through RESUS they were met by Zoe, Rita, Robyn and Lily. Zoe saw Ethan come in beside the trolley. This wasn't how she wanted him to find out. Zoe heard him give instructions, but, he couldn't treat him. Not with him being a family member and all. By this time Connie had entered and saw the scene in front of her.

"Dr. Hardy." Came her stern voice. "You can't treat this patient."

"Please, I want to help." Ethan said as he tried to push pass Zoe.

"Ethan, you know the rules." Connie said.

"You let him treat me when I was involved in the crash."

"That was different."

"How was it different?"

"No other doctors were available at the time."

Ethan still wasn't listening. His brother needed help and he wanted to help him. Lofty had now taken over from Zoe while she and the others treated Cal.

"Come on, mate." Lofty said steering a worried Ethan away.

Ethan kept shaking his head. In the staffroom Lofty handed him a cup of tea. Ethan nervously fiddled with his glasses. This was one thing Ethan never imagined he'd see. Cal had always been the strongest out of the two of them. If anyone was clumsy it was Ethan, not Cal.

"Ethan?" Zoe said as she entered. "You can go in and see him."

Ethan nodded his thanks and left. Inside RESUS he saw Cal hooked up to machines, but at least he was stable and awake. Cal heard the doors opening and saw Ethan standing there.

"Nibbles!" He said as he tried to smile. "Sorry for worrying you like that. I don't know what happened."

"Was this you getting back at me for the car crash?"

"I wish." Cal chuckled.

"So you have no idea what happened?" Ethan asked.

"No. One minute I was driving and the next I wake up here at work." Cal replied.

"Why were you driving so early in the morning?"

"Um, I was late for work." Cal said trying to sound convincing.

"But, you're not in til later." Ethan told him not quite believing him.

"I thought I came in a bit early."

Ethan looked at him. He knew his brother was lying.

"Cal, that's not like you. Tell me what's really going on."

Cal knew Ethan knew he wasn't telling the truth, but how could he tell his brother they were both adopted? How could he tell him he had found their birth mum? Most of all, how could he tell Ethan they both could have inherited Huntington's?

"Nothing's going on." Cal soon answered. "I just wanted to come in early for a change."

"Cal," Ethan said. " I know you miss Matilda, so do I. But, drinking and then driving is not the answer. You could have seriously injured yourself or worse, someone else."

"Well, I'm glad you're so worried about me." Cal responded sarcastically. "How do you know I've been drinking?"

"I know you. That's what you do when you can't face your problems."

"Look, Ethan." Cal said starting to raise his voice. "It's not about Matilda. I've moved on, maybe you should too."

"If it's not about Matilda, then what is it about?"

"I can't tell you."

"Why not?"

"I just can't!"

Ethan was getting annoyed with his brother. He knew Cal wasn't telling him something, but he just didn't know what. Quickly turning around, Ethan walked through the doors slamming them open as he did. Why did Cal have to be so infuriating?

"Ethan!" Cal said as he watched his brother walk out.


	3. Tell Him the Truth

Cal's results had come back all clear. They just needed to keep him in for overnight observation. Charlie came in an hour later to check his SATs. While he was checking his pulse Cal asked him,

"Do you have a minute?"

"Sure." Charlie responded. "What is it?"

"I um, I know why I crashed."

"Another car crashed into you."

Cal shook his head.

"No, it didn't"

Charlie looked at him worried.

"What happened then?"

"I lost control of the car." Cal explained.

"How?"

"I don't know. I was driving along and then my hands started shaking. I think I might have inherited the gene."

"Oh, Cal. Have you told Ethan yet?"

Cal shook his head.

"Tell him the truth." Charlie demanded.

"I can't." Cal replied.

Charlie finished checking his vitals.

"Why not?"

"I just can't. He's already upset about losing Matilda, I don't want him to worry about this."

"He's going to find out out. And it will be better if he found out from you."

"Not yet."

Charlie didn't want to cause an argument with Cal so he left it at that. Just as Charlie walked through the doors. Ethan entered. He smiled at Charlie as he left. Cal saw Ethan enter and he could see it in his eyes he was still angry with him.

"Ethan…"

"No. I know something's wrong. Just tell me what it is."

"Ethan, I can't."

"Whatever it is, it can't be that bad. Whatever it is, we'll get through it together."

Cal could tell by Ethan's tone he was sincere. But, he couldn't tell him.. He knew that wasn't really an excuse for not telling Ethan about their adoption or their birth mum's illness but, he just couldn't tell him. Ethan could tell Cal was still hesitant to discuss the problem with him. He looked at his brother and wondered what his brother wasn't telling him.

"What are you so afraid of?" Ethan asked still looking at Cal.

"What makes you think I'm afraid?"

"You're my brother, Cal. I know when you're not telling me the truth."

Cal didn't respond. Ethan just nodded.

"Very well, then. If you won't tell me then don't." He said angrily. The next part he said his voice was more calm. "But, just so you know I'm here if you need to talk."

With his response Ethan left the room. Cal sighed and leant his head against his pillow.


	4. All Lies

A few weeks after the crash, Cal was back at work. He was finishing with a patient when the curtains were drawn back.

"Dr. Knight, a word in my office."

Cal excused himself from his patient. He turned and followed Connie to her office. Inside Connie stood in front of her desk with Cal standing in front of her.

"Now, I've been informed by Charlie that you've not been yourself recently. He's worried about you and has asked me to have a quick word with you. Is there anything I should know?" Connie asked him.

"No."

"Are you sure? Because you know whatever it is that's troubling you, you'll have our full support."

Cal nodded.

"But, I assure you there is nothing the matter. I'm just a bit tired that's all."

"Well, if that's true you may go back to your patient."

Cal walked back to cubicles when he spotted Charlie by the nurse's station.

"Why did you go to Connie?" Cal asked angrily.

"Cal, you're not yourself. I thought if I couldn't get you to see sense then Connie might. I thought she would tell you, you need to talk to your brother."

"That wasn't your decision to make."

"But, you do need to tell him."

"Tell me what?"

Both Cal and Charlie turned around. Ethan was standing behind him. Cal gave Charlie a nervous look.

"Tell me what?" Ethan asked more firmly.

"Why don't you two go into the staffroom. It will give you some privacy." Charlie suggested sensing there would be an argument.

"No, whatever Cal has to say to me, he can say it here."

"I think we should do as Charlie said." Cal said.

"No, say what you have to say now." Ethan interrupted.

"Ethan, I really don't think…."

"Cal!" Ethan shouted. "Will you stop avoiding the question and just tell me what it is!"

"We're adopted."

Those two words hit Ethan with full force. He blinked a couple of times and swallowed.

"What?"

Cal sighed. He knew Ethan had heard him, he didn't have to repeat what he had said.

"You heard me." Cal told him.

Cal expected Ethan to say something back, but he didn't. He didn't say anything. Ethan just turned and walked away. Cal saw him enter the staffroom and so he followed. Closing the door behind him, Cal turned to face his brother.

"Ethan?"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I wanted to."

"But, what? Were you trying to protect me is that it?"

"Yes."

"It's about you, Cal. It's always about you." Ethan said his voice rising.

"Oh, please." Cal groaned. "It wasn't about me."

"Oh, really?" Ethan scoffed.

"Yes. When I found out we were adopted, I wanted to tell you straight away but, I was shocked. And then I told Charlie about what I had found out and he told me I had to tell you. But, I didn't because I needed to find out more. I needed to find out the answers to questions I had knowing you would have the same questions when I told you."

"Charlie? Charlie knew?" Ethan said.

"Yes, Charlie knew."

"So you told Charlie instead of me? Instead of your own brother?"

"I didn't know if you were my brother!" Cal shouted. "That's why I didn't tell you. When I read my blood group was different from Matilda's I suddenly realised that if my blood group was different then maybe you weren't my real brother. I was scared I'd lose you."

'YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME!" Ethan screamed back.

"HOW? HOW COULD I?"

"I HAD THE RIGHT TO KNOW JUST LIKE YOU!"

"WHY? IT WASN'T YOUR BLOOD GROUP THAT WAS DIFFERENT! IT WAS MINE."

"YOU STILL SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME!"

"FINE! YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW WHY I DIDN'T TELL YOU?"

"YES!"

"FINE. I'LL TELL YOU."

Ethan waited for his brother's answer.

"SHE HAS HUNTINGTON'S."

It all went silent. Ethan could not speak and could not look his brother in the eyes. Cal, on the hand turned his back.

"What?" Ethan whispered.

Cal turned back to face him, tears in eyes.

"Our birth mum has Huntington's. And there's a chance that either one of us has inherited the gene."

"So you've lied to me about that as well."

"I haven't lied to you. I just didn't want to tell you."

"Same thing, isn't it?"

"No, it isn't."

"Then why the hell didn't you tell me the minute you found out?"

"I've already told you."

"No, all you've told me is that wanted to tell me, but didn't. All you've said is about how you were scared. It's always been you."

"That's so not true." Cal replied. "Yes, I was scared but, it was only because I didn't want to lose you."

"How do I know you're telling the truth? You've lied to me."

"Eth, I would never lie about something like that."

"Really?"

"Yes. Why would I lie about something like that?

"Oh, come on! You lie all the time. "

Ethan's words hit home, but Cal would never lie if it involved his family. Ethan meant everything to him and he would never want to lose him. It hurt him to think Ethan didn't believe him.

"Okay, you're right. I know I've lied in the past. But, I would never lie about something like this. I mean what I said. I was scared I'd lose you because you mean the world to me. You're my brother, Ethan and I don't ever want to lose you. You have to believe me."

Ethan shook his head.

"I don't think I can."

Ethan's finally words cut through Cal's heart like a knife. He could see how hurt his brother was and if he could turn back the clock he would. But, he couldn't. What was done was done. Cal had to deal with that. But, he didn't think he would ever be able to deal with the fact that Ethan could never believe him.

"Ethan," Cal pleaded. "I'm sorry."

Cal tried to reach out to his brother but, Ethan stepped away from him. He would never be able to trust Cal again.

"Ethan…"

Ethan ignored him and turned away from him. As he was about to go out the doors he stopped and turned back to face Cal.

"When I've finished my shift I want you out of the flat by tonight. And I don't ever want to see you again."

Cal stood there in shock. Had him not telling the truth cost him his brother? Was their relationship fractured beyond repair?


	5. Learn to Forgive

For the rest of his shift, Ethan was attempting to avoid Cal as much as he could. Cal noticed what Ethan was doing and instead of getting him to talk to him, Cal decided to leave him be. Charlie noticed the tension between the two brothers. When he saw Ethan go on his break Charlie decided to speak to him. Ethan noticed Charlie follow him.

"What do you want?" Ethan asked not really in the mood for talking.

Charlie took a seat in front of him.

"Look, Ethan. I told Cal he should have told you when he found out. But, him being Cal decided not to."

"I'm not really mad at him for not telling me we're adopted. I'm more angry with him that he went to you instead of me."

"I guess he could see you were upset about Matilda. So he didn't want to worry you."

"But, I had the right to know."

"I think Cal understands what he did was wrong, but he was truly scared you weren't his brother. He was scared he'd lose you if it turned out you weren't his brother. He's already lost Matilda, don't make him lose you too."

"If he was so scared about losing me, he should have told me."

"I'm not saying what Cal did was right, but you must understand where he was coming from. If you were in the same position wouldn't you have done what he's done?" Charlie asked, wise as ever.

Ethan sighed. Charlie was talking sense, and why wouldn't he be? He was Charlie. He always knew what to say and when to say it. Charlie could see Ethan was struggling to know what to do.

"Look, you have the right to be angry at him. He probably would be too if you'd kept something like this from him, but he's going to need you. Whether he'll admit it or not. So are you. This affects both of you and it will be much better to have someone there to support you than being on your own."

Ethan nodded. He would forgive Cal but, for him, Ethan needed Cal to promise him that no matter what happens next he wouldn't shut him out. Ethan thanked Charlie was his advice and then left to find his brother. He'd just hope Cal had accepted what he did was a mistake.


	6. Too Late?

Searching for his brother, Ethan couldn't find Cal anywhere. But, that didn't bother him. Ethan knew Cal's shift ended an hour ago. He probably was in the pub getting drunk. It wasn't until Lofty ran into the ED breathless and struggling to form a sentence together.

"Ethan...Cal...roof." Was all he could say.

Ethan didn't need a complete sentence to know what Lofty was saying. Hurriedly, he followed Lofty outside to the ambulance bay. Stepping outside Ethan saw Charlie, Connie, Rita, Robyn and Max looking upwards. Ethan followed their gaze. He was met with a shock.

"Cal?" Ethan spoke as he walked towards his brother. "What are you doing on the roof?"

Ethan was beginning to panic. Was Cal about to jump?

"Oh, have I got your attention, now, little brother?" Cal replied stepping closer to the edge.

"What are you talking about?" Ethan said.

"Not so long ago you were ignoring me. And now, that I've come up here on the roof you've changed your mind." Cal said, still not making any sense.

"I still don't quite understand what you're saying."

"I'm trying to get you to forgive me." He shouted down to Ethan.

Ethan moved away from the crowd.

"What? By standing close to the edge?" His voice choking with fear.

"What do you care if I jump or not? You said it yourself you never wanted to see me again."

"I didn't mean like this. I didn't mean you have to go kill yourself. I was angry, I never meant what I said."

There was a pause.

"Please, Cal. Just come down." Ethan pleaded.

Cal stepped even closer to the edge. He was acting strange, so unlike Cal and his behaviour was scaring Ethan. Ethan was starting to shake, his breathing becoming laboured. Charlie saw Ethan was in a middle of having a panic attack so he took over. While he took control of the situation, Rita was trying to get Ethan to calm down.

"Cal," Charlie began to say. "Please, come down. You're scaring us, you're scaring Ethan. Look, he doesn't want to lose you like you didn't want to lose him when you found out about the adoption."

"But, I have lost him!" Cal shouted to Charlie.

"How have you lost him?"

"He said he didn't believe. Couldn't believe me."

"He was upset you couldn't go to him. He blames himself for your decision to not confide in him." Charlie replied.

Charlie turned to Rita and Ethan. Ethan was still not breathing properly. Cal kneeled and peered over the ledge. He could see his brother was having difficulty breathing and his face was becoming pale.

"Ethan?" Cal said.

Cal received no answer. Now, it was his turn to panic.

"Ethan! Say something, mate?"

Again no answer.

"See." Charlie said turning back to face Cal. "He's scared. That's why he's having difficulty breathing. Remember what you said to him when he was in the car crash. You said you couldn't let anything happen to him, right?"

Cal nodded.

"Well, you meant that didn't you?"

"Of course. He's my little brother. I wouldn't let anything happen to him nor would I ever forgive myself if I did."

"Same goes for Ethan. He wouldn't let anything happen to you. So please, Cal come down from the roof. For Ethan. Don't make him lose his big brother." Charlie ended.

Cal looked down. Ethan's breathing wasn't stabilizing and he had collapsed. Cal knew Charlie was right. He couldn't put Ethan through the pain of losing him when he, himself couldn't bare to lose him. Cal turned back around and headed downstairs.


	7. Always a Brother

Cal came to his brother's side when he saw Ethan still hadn't regained consciousness.

"Nibbles?" Cal said using his nickname hoping to get a response. "I've come down now, so you can wake up now."

Ethan still didn't respond. Cal placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Come on. Let's get him inside." Zoe said as Dixie and Iain came over with a trolley.

Ethan remained in cubicles while Cal stayed beside him. Lying beside his brother, arm around his shoulders Cal smiled. It reminded him of how he used to comfort Ethan when they were little and thunderstorms would rage on outside. Lying beside him reminded him of one particular night when he was about 13 and Ethan was 5.

 _A crash of thunder sounded outside, Ethan sat underneath his blanket shivering with fear. He was scared and wanted his brother. But, Cal wasn't home yet. He was at his football match and wouldn't be back til later that night._

 _CRASH!_

 _Ethan jumped and let out a small whimper. The door to the room he shared with Cal opened and his mum popped her head round._

 _"Ethan? Are you okay, sweetie?" His mum asked seeing her 5 year old son under his blanket._

 _"Where's Cal?" He asked in a small voice._

 _"He should be home soon."_

 _"I want Cal!"_

 _"I know, sweetie. He'll be home soon." His mum replied coming into his room._

 _His mum walked over to Ethan's bed and sat down in front of him._

 _"Go back to sleep." She said trying to make Ethan lie back down._

 _Ethan wouldn't budge. He stayed sitting up._

 _"I want Cal." He started to cry._

 _"If you sleep now, Cal will be here before you know it." She told him._

 _"Promise?" Ethan asked lying back down in his bed._

 _"Promise." His mum replied as she placed a small kiss on his forehead._

 _Closing the door behind her, his mum said 'Goodnight". Ethan soon fell asleep even though he was trying not to let sleep overtake him. He woke up about 10 minutes later and looked over to his brother's bed. It was still empty, Cal hadn't returned yet. The storm was still rumbling on outside and Ethan was still scared. Slipping out of his bed Ethan crept out of his bed and walked over to Cal's bed. Climbing into the sheets, Ethan snuggled down. He felt safe in his brother's bed. If only Cal was there he would have felt even safer._

 _Cal came home after his football match and went upstairs. Opening the door to his and Ethan's room he tiptoed in. The floorboards creaked and he winced afraid he would wake Ethan up. Cal turned to look at Ethan's bed when a shape caught his eye. He looked over to his own bed and smiled. Ethan was tangled up in the sheets, his blonde hair ruffled and glasses askew. Cal chuckled slightly to himself. He shook off his coat and kicked off his trainers before walking over to his bed and sitting down. The mattress dipped as he sat down. Ethan stirred but, didn't wake up._

 _"Ethan?" Cal whispered._

 _All he got was a groan as Ethan rolled over._

 _"Nibbles?"_

 _Cal noticed a small smile appear on his brother's face. He knew what Ethan was up to._

 _"So is that bow you want it to go?" Cal said as he placed his hands under Ethan's arms._

 _Cal wriggled his fingers and was responded with a squeal._

 _"Cal! Stop it." Ethan said as he tried not to laugh._

 _Just then another clap of thunder was heard and Ethan jumped into his brother's arms. Cal wrapped his arms around him._

 _"Are you scared?"_

 _Ethan nodded against his brother's chest. Cal tightened his hold and rubbed his back ._

 _"That better?"_

 _"Mmhm." Ethan muffled._

 _Cal felt Ethan's small hands wrap around his waist. Leaning down Cal placed a kiss on top of his head._

 _"Ethan?"_

 _When Cal didn;'t receive an answer he looked down. Ethan had fallen asleep and was snoring softly. Gently, picking him up Cal laid him down on his bed. Taking his glasses of his brother's nose, Cal then snuggled next to him._

 _"Goodnight, little brother." Cal whispered._

 _Soon he too,, fell asleep, his arms around Ethan protecting him from everything around him._


	8. Making Amends

Cal was brought out his memory when he felt a stir. He peered down and saw Ethan looking at him.

"Cal…"

"No, don't speak." Cal interrupted him.

"Cal, just listen to me just this once."

Cal eventually gave in.

"I wanted to say sorry. I had no right to get mad at you."

Cal shook his head.

"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have kept it from you. You were right to be angry. I would be too."

"Just promise me one thing." Ethan said, looking at Cal in the eyes.

"Anything." Cal responded.

"Don't ever shut me out again."

Cal tightened his hold on his brother and leant his chin upon Ethan's head.

"Promise, Nibbles." Cal replied.

The two of them remained in their position for a few minutes in silence.

"What is she like?" Ethan asked.

"Who?"

"Our birth mum."

"Um," Cal said. "She's nice. She's really nice."

"But?"

"But what?"

"You don't sound too happy." Ethan told him.

"No, I am. Really. It's just she should have told us."

"Did she explain why she didn't?"

"Yeah. She said she tried to write to us, tried to call mum to tell inform us but, when she did she couldn't speak."

"Why not?"

"She told me it was because our 'mum' was the woman who got to keep her sons and it wasn't right for her to tell them they could have inherited an incurable illness."

"You didn't believe her?"

Cal shook his head. Ethan untangled himself from his brother's embrace and sat up.

"Why?"

"Like you said, we had the right to know."

"What's her name?"

"Emilie. Emilie Groome."

"Can we see her?"

Cal looked at him.

"Do you think that's a good idea?" He asked suddenly nervous.

"I want to see."

"Very well. We can go and see her." Cal nodded.

The curtains to their cubicle were drawn and Zoe entered with Charlie.

"Ah, good to see you awake, Ethan." Zoe smiled. "You had us worried for a second."

"Sorry about that." Ethan said.

"No worries. How are you feeling?" Zoe asked.

"Much better."

Zoe nodded and went over to just double check Ethan's breathing. While she did that, Charlie checked his vitals. Pleased with everything the two of them left Cal and Ethan alone. Cal decided to let Ethan rest for awhile before heading home so he followed the other two out. On his way out of cubicles, Cal ran up to Charlie.

"Charlie!"

Charlie saw Cal run up.

"Yeah?"

"I just wanted to thank you. I should have listened to you. Ethan needed to know."

"So everything's okay between the two of you?"

"Yeah. And Ethan wants to meet her."

"Really."

"That's good." Charlie smiled.

Patting Cal on the shoulder Charlie then left and went to treat other patients. Cal went to the staffroom collected his things and headed back to cubicles to take Ethan home. On the way home the two of them sat in silence. It was a comfortable silence and that's all they needed. Cal knew that no matter happened he would always have his brother's support.


	9. Knowing the Truth

The next morning Charlie had called to inform them he had managed to persuade Connie to give them a day off. Thanking him, Cal had arranged for Ethan and him to meet their birth mum. Pulling up outside the house, Ethan began to have second thoughts. Cal could sense him tense up beside him. Reassuringly, Cal placed his hand on his shoulder.

"Don't worry." Cal told him. "I felt scared when I came here with Charlie."

Ethan gave Cal a small smile.

"Let's do this." Ethan said.

"You know it's funny." Cal said as the two of them walked up to the front door.

"What is?" Ethan asked.

"I recognised the house when Charlie pulled up here the first time I went to meet her."

They had barely reached the door when it opened.

"Nice to see you again Cal/Stephen." Shelle said.

Shelle then saw Ethan standing next to Cal.

"Is this Michael, I mean Ethan?" She asked.

"Yes, this Ethan." Cal replied.

Ethan shook hands with Shelle.

"It's nice to meet you." Ethan said.

"You better come in." Shelle told them.

Stepping aside, Shelle let the two of them enter. She stopped them just before they entered the living room.

"She is expecting you, but let me tell her you've arrived." Shelle explained to them.

A few seconds after she had entered the living room she came back out again. This time to tell Cal and Ethan they could go in. When Ethan entered he saw Emilie sitting in her wheelchair, her whole body uncontrollably shaking. Ethan had to inhale a sharp breath when he saw her. Emilie smiled when she saw her two boys standing side by side together. She had always hoped that one day she would see them again. It was just unfortunate they had to meet under these circumstances.

"Michael?" Emilie asked.

Cal gave Ethan a slight nudge with his elbow when his brother didn't move or respond.

"Um, yes. It's me." Ethan stuttered.

Emilie held out her hand. Unsure what to do Ethan walked over to her and took hold of it. It felt weird. He barely knew this woman, yet this woman was his mum. Cal came over and stood beside him. Shelle gestured to them to take a seat. The two brothers sat down.

"I-i-i's good t-t-o see y-y-ou, M-m-michael." Emilie struggled to say.

"Why did you give us away?" Ethan suddenly blurted out.

Emilie shuffled nervously in her wheelchair. Maybe this was to tell her two sons the truth behind giving them up for adoption?

"I w-w-was very y-young when I had Cal. 20 year o-o-old. It was j-just after Cal w-w-was born that I b-b-began to notice m-my moods were erratic. At f-f-first I t-thought it was p-p-post-natal depression. I soon g-g-got better. 2 years later I-I f-f-found out I w-was pregnant again. That's w-when the first a-a-attempt happened."

"First attempt at what?" Ethan asked.

"I t-tried to k-kill myself."

Cal and Ethan remained silent.

"Y-your dad came home and found m-me unconscious. I-I was a-admited to h-h-hospital. The d-d-doctors diagnosed m-m-me with d-d-depression. W-w-we thought it would g-get better but, i-i-it didn't. My moods became even more e-e-eratic and I began to stumble."

"When did you find out you had the illness?" Cal asked this time.

"5 months after your dad left me. When I-I-I found out I was on my own b-b-by then. You were only 2 y-y-years old and Ethan w-w-was only a month old. I-I-I couldn't cope with my i-i-ilness and being a s-s-single mum to two y-y-young children. So I m-m-made the decision to p-put y-you up for adoption t-t-together. I hoped the t-two of you would stay t-t-together because then at l-l-least you would h-h-have each other. You know the rest."

"But why didn't our mum, I mean adoptive mum tell us then?" Ethan inquired.

"Because s-s-she didn't k-k-know."

"She knew we were adopted." Ethan said his voice rising a bit.

Emilie nodded.

"So why didn't she tell us about the adoption?"

Cal could see his brother was getting angry. The woman he thought was his mother, a mother he cared, loved until she died had lied to him.

"Ethan." Cal said.

Ethan shook his head.

"No. Mum should have told us."

"Maybe she didn't want to." Cal suggested.

"Why? We had the right to know!"

"Maybe she d-d-didn't want y-y-you to feel unloved. L-l-like you didn't belong a-a-anywhere." Emilie said.

Ethan stood up quickly.

"I'm sorry. I can't stay here. I can't do this."

With his response he left.

"Ethan?" Emilie said watching as her youngest son walk away.

"It's okay, Emilie. I'll go and make sure he's alright." Cal said getting up and following his brother.

Just as he was about to follow Ethan outside, Shelle stopped him on the way out.

"Your mother only thought she was doing the right thing by giving you both up and I would think the same would go for the woman who adopted you."

"I understand. I'm just not sure Ethan does."

Shelle smiled and closed the door as Cal stepped out the front.


	10. Questions

Cal found Ethan sitting in the car. The minute the car door opened Ethan quickly wiped his eyes and placed his glasses back on.

"You alright?" Cal asked, knowing Ethan had been crying.

"Couldn't be better." Ethan replied sarcastically.

"Eth, you know they didn't mean to. They were only doing what they thought was right."

"Is it right to find out my whole life has been a lie? Our whole life?"

"Not everything has been a lie. We're still brothers aren't we?"

"And that's supposed to make everything okay?"

"I would have thought so."

"I just don't know who I am anymore." Ethan whispered.

"I'll tell you who you're are. You're Nibbles."

Ethan glanced over at his brother.

"Sorry." Cal chuckled slightly. "Just thought it would cheer you up."

"But, seriously. Who are we?" Ethan said.

"Seriously, you're Ethan Hardy one of the smartest people I know. It doesn't matter we were adopted. At least we know now. At least we know who our mother is. Maybe this is a time for us to rebuild our relationship with her."

"Rebuild our relationship? How?"

"Understand why she gave us up in the first place. And accept that she thought she was saving us from the pain of knowing."

"I understand why she gave us up. What I don't understand is why mum, didn't tell us we were adopted?"

"Like Emilie said, she wanted us to be loved. And we were loved. We were happy together, weren't we?"

"Yeah." Ethan said quietly.

"What?"

"Well, we were."

Cal knew what Ethan was talking about. They were happy until their family life became fractured. Then everything changed.


	11. The Past in the Present: Memory 1

_2 year old Ethan sat in 4 year old Cal's lap. Ethan's tiny hands were held against his ears and Cal's head was resting on top of his. Their mum and dad were arguing. Ethan whimpered as the sound of glass echoed up the stairs._

 _"Ssh. It's okay, Nibbles. I've got you." Cal said, pulling him closer against his chest._

 _Ethan snuggled up against him. The two of them still hearing the shouts from below._

 _"THEY'RE YOUR SONS TOO!" Their mum screamed._

 _The two brothers heard their dad chuckle._

 _"THOSE TWO BOYS WILL NEVER BE MY SONS!" Their dad shouted back._

 _It went silent for a moment before their dad talked again._

 _"YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY THEY WON'T EVER BE MY SONS?"_

 _Even though they couldn't hear a response Cal and Ethan knew their mum had answered because that was when the truth came out._

 _"Ethan is a wimp. He's too sensitive and acts very strangely. Cal, on the other hand, needs to stop protecting his brother. Ethan will never learn to be a man if Cal keeps helping him."_

 _Cal felt Ethan shake in his arms. Ethan was crying and he too, felt his own tears fall down. He tightened his hold on his brother. Ethan wrapped his tiny hands around his brother, both being comforted by each other._

 _"Dwad dwoesn't mwean thwat?" Cal heard Ethan mumble._

 _"Of course, not." Cal shook his head._

 _"Thwen why dwid he say those thwings? I'm nwot a wimp, wam I?"_

 _"No, Ethan. You're not a wimp. Dad's just angry."_

 _Sensing Ethan was getting sleepy Cal was about to lift Ethan and carrying him to his bed._

 _"Cal?"_

 _"Yes?"_

 _"Can I sleep with you?"_

 _Cal nodded. He then proceeded to lie his brother down in his own bed. Cal laid down next to him and felt Ethan snuggle up to him._

 _"You're not gowing to stwop?" Ethan muttered as he fell to sleep._

 _"Stop what?" Cal asked._

 _"Bweing mwy bwrother?"_

 _Cal ruffled his hair._

 _"Course not, little brother."_

 _The next morning Cal sneaked out of his bed, not wanting to disturb Ethan. He crept down stairs. His father was in the kitchen pretending everything was normal. Cal knew it wasn't._

 _"Morning, dad." Cal said._

 _"Morning, Cal." His dad replied not looking at his son._

 _"Where's Ethan?" His mum asked._

 _"Still asleep." Cal told her._

 _"At this hour?" His dad said. "Why? Is he ill or something?"_

 _"No." Cal replied. "He's just asleep."_

 _"Well, I'm going to wake him up. I'm going to be late for work otherwise." His dad said putting down the newspaper._

 _Cal noticed his mum's worried look on her face, but she quickly smiled at him when she saw him looking at her._

 _"It's okay, Cal. Dad's right. He can't be late for work and you can't be late for school." She said going back to cleaning the kitchen._

 _THUD._

 _The noise made him jump. It came from upstairs._

 _"Mum, what was that?"_

 _"Nothing, sweetie." Came her reply._

 _Cal saw his mum was nervous but, didn't ask anymore questions._

 _"Cal, will you stay here in the kitchen while I just go out and hang out the washing?" His mum asked him._

 _Cal nodded. But, he was curious. Why did his mum want him to stay in the kitchen?_

 _Once his mum had gone out the back door, Cal heard his father come back down stairs. He noticed Ethan wasn't down. His dad picked up his coat, his briefcase and walked out the front door without saying goodbye. When Cal heard the front door close he tiptoed up the stairs towards their room. He saw their bedroom door was shut. He was even more curious._

 _"Ethan?" Cal asked, knocking on the door. "Eth, it's me. Let me in?"_

 _Cal heard a small whimper coming from inside._

 _"Nibbles? Are you okay?" Cal said through the key hole._

 _No answer. Worried, Cal turned the door knob and stepped inside. 4 year old Cal stood frozen to the spot. Ethan lay huddled on his side in a tight ball. Blood was pouring from his head and nose. Cal ran over to his brother as fast as he could for a 4 year old._

 _"Ethan?" He cried. "Did dad do this to you?"_


	12. Painful Memories

Cal was brought back to reality when he heard Ethan speak to him. They had arrived home. The two of them walked into their flat taking off their jackets as they entered. Cal slumped down on the sofa while Ethan went into the kitchen and got them two bottles of beer.

"Here." Ethan handed one to his brother as he sat down next to him.

"Thanks."

"What's up?" Ethan asked him.

"Nothing."

Cal. you promised me you wouldn't shut me out."

"Really, Ethan it's nothing."

"Is it Matilda?"

Cal shook his head.

"Then what is it? You seem awfully quiet."

"I said it was nothing. Can we just leave it at that?"

Ethan wasn't going to leave it at that. He knew Cal was thinking about something and he wanted to know.

"I won't stop asking you." Ethan said.

"Ugh, you're so annoying, Nibbles." Cal groaned.

"Well, I am your little brother. And little brothers are suppose to be annoying."

"Fine. If you really want to know, I was just thinking about the time when it all started."

"When what all started?"

"Dad's violent mood swings."

Ethan went silent. He started to fiddle with his glasses. Cal knew he had brought back some painful memories for Ethan, but then again Ethan had asked what he was thinking about.

"See. I told you it was nothing." Cal said sensing Ethan tense up again.

"No." Ethan whispered. "It's good you told me."

"Ethan, if you don't want to talk about then we don't have to." Cal said coming closer to his brother.

"No. I want to. I think it's good we're talking about what happened."

"Yeah, it is good." Cal replied.

"So what do you remember?" Cal asked Ethan.

"I remember mum crying whenever dad lost his temper. I remember them shouting." Ethan said. "What about you?"

"I remember dad wasn't always like that."

"Really?"

Cal nodded.

"Mhm. You were still only a baby, but I remember he used to play football with me. He used to take me to football matches even though mum told him not to."

"Why did he change? Was it because of me?" Ethan asked suddenly.

"No." Cal told him firmly. "Why would you think that?"

"I don't know." Ethan shrugged. "I mean I was a weird child growing up."

"So? All kids are like that when they're growing up."

"Well, it must have had something to do with me. If dad was alright with you, why wasn't he like that with me?"

"I don't know, Ethan. When you were 1 dad was having a hard time at work. Mum told me and she said I mustn't ask dad about it because he would get angry. So I didn't. I guess he was stressed that's all. It had nothing to do with you."

"Then why did he do what he did?"

This time it was Cal's turn to shrug. He didn't know why his dad took his anger out on Ethan. All he knew was that it scared him when he found Ethan covered in cuts and bruises. It scared him even more when Ethan became distant, untalkative, especially with him. The two just sat there.

"Cal, I was thinking..." Ethan said.

"About what?"

"It was something you said to me."

"Which was?"

"Rebuilding our relationship."

Cal nodded.

"Well, why don't we adopt Matilda?"

Cal was silent for a few moments. The mention of her name brought tears to his eyes.

"Why?"

"For one thing you love, we both do. And two I think she would like that."

"Ethan, we can't."

"Why not? I thought you would jump at the idea."

"Yeah I would."

"But?"

"But, knowing that she isn't mine how do we know she's even Taylor's?"

Ethan suddenly realised what Cal said made sense. If Taylor lied to them about Matilda being Cal's daughter then she could have easily lied about her being the mother.

"Nice thought, though." Cal said when he saw Ethan realise it made sense.

Ethan smiled wearily.

"Yeah, nice thought."


End file.
